Truthfully all it is, is just another day. Yea I used to kinda look forward to it, but *shrugs* Perhaps it's just me being a little melancholy, because I just am not exactly all that welcome to the idea of that day. I shouldn’t let it get to me, and I’m not going to. I guess part of me was hoping that perhaps by this year things would be different and that day would have a bit more meaning. Perhaps in some ways it might… There are some things on the horizon and some possibilities to consider.

Right now though, I’ve been really worried about my brother… He has kinda put himself into a bad position and one that resonates hard with something I went through a few years ago. I don’t wish that kind of anguish on anyone as he’s been very torn up inside. I’ve given him what advice I can, and only hope that he finds his own happiness. That is all I want for him and for anyone else… Especially those I care very deeply for. I want to see them happy, and will do what I can to help in that, even if it means taking myself out of the picture. I think at least in one case, it probably means just sitting on the cliff side, and watching as a ship sails off, and possibly consider not returning to that port town… playing my music and entertaining in other bars in other places. Perhaps find another port'o'call? Who knows, perhaps playing music overseas? That all depends on what happens in the future, and what things may come my way.

I’m going to do what makes me happy… I am still figuring that one out, but hey that is what life is all about. Life is full of ups and downs. I’m not focusing on what has been in the past… I will have fond memories of many things, and will always have regrets, but won’t let the bad things burden me. Everyone’s past can be a little sordid, but we continue forth, even if one is afraid one must continue to step forward, and not run away. I’ve got too many good things to look forward to and to live for. ^_^ I just do hope that some things I am wrong about, but in my opinion it’s always better to be prepared for the worst and hope it doesn’t happen and wish for better than that. I know it’s not the most optimistic of outlooks, but I feel it is better to be cautious than to be completely carefree, or perhaps it is better to be care free? I’m not sure. Regardless I plan on living life to the fullest and not letting anything hold me back.
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